Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.Proverbs 3:5-6
When life is uncertain, it’s hard to have faith. To trust that God has a plan. Looking back, I see how God has used some of my worst life moments, as opportunities to direct my path.
When I graduated college last year, I had trouble finding a job or even an internship. I felt frustrated, helpless, and wondered what the point of my degree was if it wasn’t helping me find employment.
I majored in English Literature with a concentration in Creative Writing. My plan was to work in the publishing industry. When I remained unemployed, I came up with an alternative option to pay the bills. Preschool Teacher. It was quite the twist, and I wasn’t even sure that I would like it very much. But I went ahead and applied to a position, was offered an interview, and eventually offered the job.
It was an in-home preschool with two locations. The Director, Owner, and some of the employees were all alumni of the small christian college I had just graduated from. It all seemed like such a God thing. Even though I was unsure how long I’d really want to work as a Preschool Teacher, it felt meant to be.
I quickly learned it’s one thing to like kids—it’s another to teach them. Anyone who has experience managing a classroom of toddlers will tell you that it takes more than just “babysitting skills” to teach preschool.
To make a long story short, while the job wasn’t perfect, most days, I felt enthusiastic about the work I was doing. It felt like everything was falling into place. That God put me exactly where He wanted, and had a greater plan than my own.
Then everything fell apart.
I had only been working there for about three months when I learned the center’s finances were in jeopardy. Drama ensued. My hours were cut. I thought it was temporary. It wasn’t.
The owners shut the entire business down with no notice, and claimed they didn’t have the money to pay their employees. It was such a horrible situation. It even made local news.
I was out of a job and a paycheck.
I felt like God had wanted me to work there. So, then why did He allow this to happen? What was the point?
While eventually I was able to receive my paycheck through the Oregon Wage Security fund, the whole event left me a little bit scarred.
At the time, I felt like I wanted to keep working as a Preschool Teacher. So, I applied to another local preschool and was hired. It was a large center, close to my home, and I really enjoyed working there.
But, as time went on, I realized two things.
- Preschool teaching has an extremely high turn-over rate.
- Being a Preschool Teacher is not for everyone—and it definitely wasn’t for me.
I felt lost, confused and uncertain about what to do next. I didn’t completely hate my job, but at the same time, I dreaded going to work every day.
I would walk into chaos, as one does as a Preschool Teacher, and leave work at the end of the day internally screaming at myself to just quit already.
This wasn’t where I was supposed to be anymore. It didn’t feel like I had ever been off track. Just that it was time to get on a new track. It was time for a change.
And it felt like God wanted this, too.
Only problem: I didn’t know what my plan was.
But, I knew what I had to do.
I put in my notice and started coming up with a plan of action.
I felt trapped. Stuck where I was in life. I felt like I needed to grow and push myself outside my comfort zone. To have new experiences. To do things that challenged and scared me.
Basically, I just wanted to dive headfirst into a new life.
I was tired of it. Tired of staying in one place. Traveling has always been something that has pushed me to move, to grow, to overcome fears and face new challenges.
I just wanted to get on a plane and be free.
I was surprised my parents supported me in this plan. I was supposed to be saving up to move out. Planning some sort of “Eat, Pray, Love” adventure didn’t seem like the best financial decision to accomplish this. But instead of discouraging my dream, they encouraged me to go.
If you’ve read some of my other blog posts, you’ll know that I ended up traveling to visit family friends in Mumbai, India.
I wanted an adventure. Wanted to do something that scared me. That would challenge me. Something that seemed a little crazy was exactly what I needed to do.
I felt at peace with my decision. Like this was where God wanted me to be. To go.
And within about a month of this idea: I was there. In India. Having the adventure of a lifetime.
I’ve learned a few things about life, myself, and God over the last year since graduating college.
First—it turns out, most people are just as confused as I am about life. Some are just better at acting like they have it all figured out.
Second—the truth is, I still don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know where I’m going.
Which leads me to what I’ve learned about God.
Third—Life is uncertain and all I know for sure is that God has a plan.
And when I say this, I don’t mean I’m going to sit back and let God do all the work. Because it doesn’t work like that. God isn’t going to just drop me off where He wants me.
He’ll lead me there. But I have to be willing to walk with Him.
I know God has a plan for my life, but I have to take action if I want to find it.
My life is not my own. And while that can be scary, it’s also encouraging to know that God is making a way. Preparing me for roads I have yet to travel. Roads I probably haven’t even considered traveling.
I still don’t have my dream job, the future is uncertain, but I’m happy and know that no matter what, I’m going to be okay.
I have faith in where I am right now, and where I’m going.
Life will not always go according to my plan, but I’ve learned to have faith in God’s timing. In His plan.
It’s in the uncertainty of life that I’ve experienced the true power of faith. Because life is uncertain, and I can’t always plan for what’s next. But I have faith that God will bring me through if I put my faith in Him. Because He has.
And I have faith that He will do the same for you, too.
Hi! My name is Rachel. I love to write. Write about life, love, and reflect on how the past builds the future. Mostly, I love to tell stories because I believe there is something about stories that brings the world closer together. You can check out some of my writing reflections here at Rachel Writes.