I just want to start this post by saying that this is just my opinion. I’m not trying to make a point one way or the other, but merely making an observation. I’m not saying this from personal experience; I’m making an observation based on what I’ve seen.
Matt James started this season off with an emphasis on faith and the fact that he was ready to find his wife. As I watched the season unfold I couldn’t help but think that Matt James represents the qualities of a solid Christian man.
Okay okay…disregarding the fact he’s on The Bachelor as some might find this controversial, but let’s face it, nobody’s perfect. He is clearly strong in his faith and was ready to find the one.
At least that’s what he had said.
It wasn’t until the finale that viewers noticed a shift. While there is no denying his faith was strong, one seed of doubt sent him questioning whether he was truly ready for marriage.
In the end, after all his talk of being ready to find his wife…it didn’t seem like he was ready at all.
So, why did he say he was?
I don’t know and I’m not sure there’s an answer to this question. Obviously in christian circles, there is an added pressure to date with the intention of marriage. So if you’re dating, how could you not also be looking for a husband or wife? I guess my thought is, are Christian singles stuck in this weird in-between of uncertainty? They are supposed to be ready, but what happens if they’re not?
In comparison to the show though, I can’t help but wonder that if Matt wasn’t ready, why would he proclaim he was? Why did he wait until the last minute to realize, or perhaps finally admit, the cold hard truth?
Matt James said he was looking for a wife. He thought he was ready. But then he wasn’t…so what happened, or was he never ready all along?
This isn’t just about men saying one thing, but doing the other. Women do this, too. So my question is, why do people say they’re ready for marriage when they’re not? Do they even realize they aren’t ready until it’s too late?
Matt was upset about the entire situation, but my sympathy only went so far. I feel like he broke his own heart out of fear.
Maybe it’s not a matter of whether he’s ready for a wife, but ready to step past the fear of the unknown. Ready to take risks and chances to find someone with potential. He’s scared. He had said;
“the last thing I want to do is bring someone into a situation I’m not ready for”
But that’s a far cry from the man who proclaimed from the very beginning that he was looking for his wife.
So is he not ready, or scared? That’s the question of the season.
Why did he spend so long acting like he was ready when in the end, all he could say was that he wasn’t?
Reality is, Matt James may have been looking for a wife, but he wasn’t actually ready to find her.
And I think there’s a difference between looking for the one and actually being ready to find them.
Sometimes, what we want isn’t what we actually need.
If you’re supposed to date with intention, but not ready for marriage, wouldn’t it be better to not date at all?
I know there are many layers to this question, and truth is I don’t have an answer because I don’t know. You tell me? Just some thoughts to consider…
But nonetheless, this season of The Bachelor was entertaining, which at the end of the day, is the point of the show. It just wasn’t what I expected. What began as an innocent story of a faith-filled man looking for love turned into the cliche tale of people looking for love in all the wrong places and
for all the wrong reasons.
Hi! My name is Rachel. I love to write. Write about life, love, and reflect on how the past builds the future. Mostly, I love to tell stories because I believe there is something about stories that brings the world closer together. You can check out some of my writing reflections here at Rachel Writes.